I am NOT...repeat NOT in China

Thank you, friends, for all your encouragement following my last post nearly a month ago.  The truth is I was acting like a seventh grader and I have realized that I do have a lot of friends IRL and blog. Some that I think are both... Thanks, y'all.

What happened is that so much was happening, I just kept waiting to share all the wonderfulness and more would happen and I lost control of my list of great things happening until the update was just a diary of what I have been doing.  Which I hear is dull,...except to your grandma.

The day before the last post, Mickey attended regular Wednesday night prayer at our church and the faithful few began to pray for some specifics and some generals.  You could tell, that Thursday, I was at the end of myself and sort of let go.  Later that evening we went to our friends house to "play cards" (read: talk hard fast and continuously and stay up way too late). I found out that Dana still had all her 8th grade curriculum, and she would be willing to let us borrow it (Answer to those prayers#1). Friday, the "letter that was late" came in the mail (Answer #2).  Mickey and I also had a slightly delayed anniversary celebration which was really nice (Unanticipated blessing #1).

One reason I haven't posted is that the girls had been saying that I don't do any work around the house because I am always on the computer.  I decided that I would show them what life is like when mom is running the "work".  So much for my cleverness.  They were sort of right.  Yes, a lot got done without me sitting in front of the computer(unanticipated blessing #2 -- I can admit it).  Yes, I probably had let it get the best of me.  No, they don't get to tell me what is right and wrong.  They are not my mother.  Incidentally, they did not demonstrate more faithfulness when the leadership was better.

Turns out, I may have identified a new mental/emotional condition. "Pre-Traumatic Stress Discomfort", may be present when a young person avoids participation in anything they fear may involve attention to detail, attention to concerns other than their own pleasure, attainment to standards they have not yet mastered, or sweat generated by work rather than play.  Other criteria may include, but are not limited to: fear that if you do it right, it will be expected of you all the time; delusions that other people's homes are pleasant to be in because they are at the amusement park or other ridiculously expensive entertainment, all day every day and as such never need to clean them; unawareness that of what amounts to a traumatic stressor (i.e.; the confusion that the traumatic stress will come from simply doing what has been asked, rather than the traumatic stress of losing a parent who had a brain bleed from NOT telling you exactly what was on her mind...even if you repeatedly reminded her you had heard all you needed to out of her).

~ giant inhale~

That said, Monday dawned bright and clear and we worked like workers. Moving bedrooms.  The girls were delighted.  After a year of telling us they would not give up their space, they were absolutely thrilled (Huge answer to prayer # 3).  Monday afternoon, because we were on a roll, we went back over to Dana's and brought home the curriculum.  During this visit, I was feeling so smart, I invited Dana and her girls to breakfast on Wednesday, and they accepted and invited us in return to go thrifting with them...

And we did.

And (answer to prayer #4) we found a bed with a wagon wheel in the foot board, to go in the boy's room.  {On that day, we observed a worker in a thrift store threaten another worker.  I was concerned enough to report it, and it turned out that the person was disciplined by the organization (possibly an answer to someone else's prayers, who knows?  Oh yeah, God.).}

On the fundraising front, we have 50% of the amount we were looking for a month ago (answer to prayer #5).

There are unverified reports that we should have what is known as an Article 5, by now.  It should be followed by travel approval.  There are verified reports that TA s have been delayed due to the travel schedule of the one guy in all of China who issues these.  Apparently, they are short handed in China.  It could be Friday or in October. 

But.

There is one thing that has held me off from "celebrating my party with you".

In the last week of July, a friend's son, aged 12, was diagnosed with Ewing's Sarcoma.

How do I dare to rejoice when this is going on?  I have searched the Scripture to find it, but I can't.  God, Himself has said that nothing intensifies sadness like someone nearby rejoicing in their circumstances.  I think it starts with, "Like smoke to the eyes..."  I am really genuinely hurting.  Going to God for meaning.  The year the girls went "out to school", Matthew was the one bright spot in a brutal year for one of my girls.  A true friend.  A really good friend.  Precious.  Well, and the whole family is, in a word, delicious.  They are really lovely and cool.

And challenged to their souls.  I can sit back and say it is all for a reason God is in control and he knows this is the way He is growing us generally and Matt and Kathy and their three boys specifically.  But it just hurts so much.  I have enough difficulty looking into the truth that I or someone else has sustained an enormous hurt.  But this is...Beyond.

Do me a favor.  If you can.  Pray for us all.  He hears if we ask.  All those answered prayers I listed, were addressed to the same One who holds this all in His hand.  He didn't "give" Matthew cancer.  We live in a fallen world.  Chemical exposures and errant cell mutations were not a part of the original design.  I don't know what He will do.  I know He can do it, though.

Needing to rejoice.  Having to mourn.  Monkey in the middle. Again.