I love morning but until recently, I didn't get why people disliked Monday. It was a fresh start. Over the last several months, I have begun to understand the "I hate Monday" person. I have been getting up and doing the hand motions to the same old song that I have heard too many times to enjoy any more and the irritation never stops. I feel like a hamster on a wheel.
But, since I committed to stop faking it... I can get up this morning and admit I don't have the want to. I don't feel the draw of a noble cause. I would just like to see my kids get up and do what they know is expected of them with out any of the non-verbals that are all intended to push my BIG-GIANT-LOSE-YOUR-TEMPER-AND-GROUND-ME-BEFORE-BREAKFAST-ON-MONDAY-MORNING button. You are aquainted, perhaps, with eye-rolling, sighing, stomping, shoulders dropping, the "tone of voice", and various combinations of these. All intended to evoke. Something.
Yes, I got up this morning without a lot of excitement to tilt at this windmill again.
I spent an hour , trying to paint a vivid picture of the desperate situation that I see. I must fancy myself a realist(I hope my husband doesn't read this because he will laugh until he pees his pants). In the middle of all my paints and brushes and palettes and smocks, I got up to feed the dogs. It occurred (get it-- dogs, ocurred?) to me that it is so simple to do that chore. While I was waiting for the water dish to fill,(as the dishwasher hummed in my ear) I realized all my jobs are easy. Ma Ingalls had some work to do. I really have no excuse. I don't have to beat my clothes on a rock to clean them. I don't have to carry water from a creek to cook and wash dishes.
Someone has said that, "Education is not the filling of a bucket, but the lighting of a fire." I say it is both. But I don't live in a time when I have to chop my own wood or carry bucket after bucket from the creek. I have water at the tap and one of those long lighters that helps you light the charcoal without burning the hair off your knuckles(if you are a man) and light your jar candles(if you are a lady).
Why do I have to relearn this every week? I have everything I need to do my job. Easier than ever before. It is okay to be out of the mood, but I need to realize that I am ungrateful, unthankful, and a whiner. Even if you never hear it. God does. My poor children do. Do I even need to include my husband (Bless his heart for the sweet escape of a 70 hour work week)? I have it all at my fingertips. I need to be a good steward of all my blessings.
Mmmm. Monday Morning Mood Modification.
No faking. I still need the power of God to do the smallest thing...even with all the best tools ever made.