23 June 2010

It's a Marathon Not a Sprint

     It has been awhile since I have rung the adoption bell around here. 
     To bring you up to speed, I have no computer skills. I started blogging because we began to pursue adoption and all the Yah*o group members asked if I had one.  I started in October, thinking that the adoption would thunder along and we'd be traveling in April.  Don't laugh.  I really did think that.  I had been encouraged to write by a friend or two and my husband.
     Up to speed. My beautiful, intelligent, athletic, American,13 year-old twin daughters are adopted (as if you couldn't tell that when you read the word athletic).  Fifteen years ago, I told my husband I thought we ought to adopt.  He invited me to never say the word adoption to him again.  I told God, "I don't know why you would give me a heart for adoption and a man who was opposed to it, but so help me I will never say the word adoption in his hearing again until he says it to me first." 62 days later, Mickey came to me and said, "There is this adoption situation my friend told me about...I think we should pray about it."  I said, "You pray."
     The Divas were home 20 months from that day.
     We tried to Foster to Adopt when we lived in KC.  Yuck. It caused us to come to a conclusion that our family was complete.  For the record, our experience was only one.  We know a family here who is a blessing and has been blessed through this type of adoption.
     Last year, this writer, who never intended to leave the house, met a boy because of a teaching assignment in China...  He had me at, "I am this tall." 
      The past year has been a study in perseverance.
...I contacted the agency that listed our boy on 8.5.09, nine days after returning home from China. First hero, Diana.
...Three weeks later, first  homestudy agency's worker says she will not approve our home study because she can tell by talking with me on the phone that I am not wealthy enough.  She has no paperwork and has not been in our home.
...Mr S's firm announces that in order to prevent massive lay offs, employees have the option of accepting 75% of salary for one month. (They meant 9).
... Second heroes, Friends who love not just with words but by actions help us get started with funds.
...10.12.09 Second social worker hears that we have PA (pre approval), tells me she can't meet the deadline of January 12.
...Meet third hero, Melissa.  The social worker who is ready willing and able to complete a home study, using what she can of the paperwork I filled out twice before. Study is complete before the deadline...by six weeks.
...Nov. is National Adoption Awareness month. We hold a celebration at our church.  Another family chooses to find out more about State Foster to Adopt.
...Miss the deadline, but find out there is an extension.  Good thing, because since we had this salary reduction...
...Property taxes go up raising our monthly mortgage payment $200 per.  Refinance.
...Utilities bills more than double for winter heat.  Go on balanced pay.
...March. Our friends at church throw a great fundraiser with dancing and frito chili pie. We are so blown away by the love.
...April. We get the I-797...a letter of approval from US Immigration to adopt a child from another country.
...The U.S. Department of State temporarily institutes a policy( for only thirty days) of only accepting a couple of documents per day and a process that took one day now takes three.  The courier doubles their fee..., but we have all been waiting so long, I am not waiting 30 more days to see if they return to the old policy.  Big in April was our sister and brother in law's decision to adopt from China, also.
...May. Our dossier goes to China and is logged in.  We have a massive garage sale and find out that "Big, High Profile, Adoption Advocacy Group" has gotten a message from God not to give us a grant we applied for in January.  Really they are good people.  They just SUPER DUPER need to re-write the rejection letter so it doesn't sound so arrogant.
... in the last few weeks, we have had another garage sale, celebrated divas becoming teens(everybody eye roll together now), and found out our LID(log-in-date) was 5-17 (this means we can expect to receive our LOA [letter of acceptance] any time in the next 6 weeks).  This date informs us on a ballpark estimate of how long we have to bust hump to raise funds.


There is not a lot of romance left.

I need new underwear, but the good ones cost too much and I am not buying anymore of these cheap ones.  I need a lot of things, that are really wants, but they amount to the "me time" I don't get.  Still, they cost.  (Wonder if this is why my blog posts run so long?)  The Divas have reached the age where they see every thing through "ME colored glasses" and frequently, if not mostly, view the adoption as necessarily detracting from attention and resources they feel would be best aimed at them (they can't help it, it is their age and adopted children feel the new sibling threat even more keenly than bio children.  I feel for them, but it doesn't make the process any easier).

I feel like I am going to come schlepping into the hotel with a suitcase full of peanut butter and crackers, looking like some kind of reject from the casting of The Phyllis Diller Story, but...

Our son is waiting.



  1. Just keep telling yourself that lady!

  2. Your daughters are beautiful...but oh, how I dread puberty.

    Your son-in-waiting looks like he's waiting just for you...good luck with the rest of your journey...I will definitely be following it!

  3. And it looks like he is SO worth it! :)

  4. Wow! you did hit some bumps there...I thought some agencies were a bit arrogant when they assume Mennonites need to answer "what do you do for fun"--long story.
    I am so glad you are right behind us with your journey..and oh yeah keep your humor, looks like you will need it--2 thirteen year olds! ack!


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